To be the best one seems to be human being's intrinsic nature. Isn't it familiar that our parents always inculcate us to be the best one and to spare no effort in being one of the best ones, which in turn will not only make their children become alleged pre-eminent, but also more importantly make them to be proud? Most of us are good boys. We followed their ardent advices and began our painstaking journey to strive to be among the best ones.
In this process, when someone around you, especially the intimate ones performed (it's in term of study, work or even one exam)better than you, if you can fairly control your emotion toward their superiority? Don't you gradually secretly treat the intimate one as an enemy in term of study? Then something gradually changed,too. It's the friendship between the two person.
I'm s stupid and at once I experienced this feeling. So bad!!!
At the beginning,we were really good friends. But I really don't know from when our friendship began to deteriorate. But I did ensure that it was the result of the threat I felt from her resulted in all of this farce. I was just in a panic and fell in to a dilemma. I knew it's not right to have this kind of feeling, but at the same time I was really unable to restrain the feeling.
Unfortunately, I'm a really oversensitive person. The nuisance tortured my everyday. Every once in a while, I would remind myself of the deterioration between us. I was unable to scrupulously draw my attention on almost everything. My life was largely influenced.
Because of this, I thought a lot about myself, and I knew there must be someting wrong with me.
I introspected myself and even consulted the psychologist to solve my emergent problem.
It's true that to be the best one is an exciting and proud thing, but for one's life is so long that there are really a lot of other things to be noticed, to be felt and to be enjoyed. It's not worthy to do so. Moreover, to make progress together with others isn't a joyful thing? Why do I always have such lamentable feelings when I find others around me are better than me? Truly, the omnipotent enemy for me is myself. I should compare my own progress with myself but not with others. If I make some kind of process, it's a big step for me and I deserve to be happy and excited.
XXX and I do have a lot of beautiful memories in my deep heart, so I can't excise our relationship abruptly. Finally, I forced myself to become encouraged enough to invite her to have a deeply talk toward the emergency. I told her all of my thoughts(To some extent, I really think I'm brave!!!) and she made an agreement with me. At least I laid down the burdon. I hope that everything can be okay and our relationship can recover gradually.
Yeah, to be the best one is important and shiny, but please give yourself some space. Now how about trying to be excellent one toward yourself? The taste is also not bad!~
